The Gospel for Single Moms

I don’t want to be a single mom, but I am one. I am in good standing with my elders, and if anyone has a concern about that, my elders welcome questions on my behalf. But the fact that I have to add that last sentence highlights why we don’t see many orthodox Christian writers addressing the subject of single moms in the church. …

Read the rest at gospelcenteredwoman.com.

2 Responses to The Gospel for Single Moms

  1. David J. April 19, 2018 at 7:07 pm #

    Wendy, I agree with your main points wholeheartedly. And I am very grateful that they also are true of single dads like myself — and of all of us Christians regardless of the specific suffering we deal with.

    But I have to challenge the underlying factual assumption that “few single moms actually want to be single moms.” I know that’s true of you and of many others, and it’s heartbreaking and infuriating. But you aren’t in the majority of single moms, either nationally or in the church. Between the cultural fact you note that “sex and childbirth outside of marriage are the growing norm” and the statistical fact that, for many years now, the overwhelming majority of no-fault divorces are initiated by wives (true, as far as I can tell, equally in the church as outside it), the truth is that most single moms do want to be single moms — at least more than they want to be married to the father of their child(ren).

    I probably would not have raised this point, precisely because I know it’s not true of you. But immediately after I read your post I read this one — https://longreads.com/2017/11/20/how-to-say-you-maybe-dont-want-to-be-married-anymore/ — describing (even, by virtue of its publication, celebrating) a conscience-less wife/mother’s unilateral decision to divorce her husband of 8 years and 2 young children merely because “it’s too hard.”

    Two other points. First, I think it’s wonderful that it matters to you that you’re in good standing with your elders. I welcome an increase of writings from “orthodox Christian writers addressing the subject of single moms in the church” who can say the same. Second, even more miraculously, the gospel is also true for that majority of single moms who actually did choose their status (assuming genuine repentance), and all the rest of us who have sinned grievously in numerous other ways.

    Thanks.

  2. Curious Thinker April 22, 2018 at 9:04 pm #

    Nice Post, I do think single moms get undervalued and for me a few women in my family that are single moms I think it’s good that the church acknowledges them. I don’t agree that majority of single moms want to be one as David suggests. It isn’t as black and white as there are many things to consider, unplanned pregnancies out of wedlock that happen in the church and outside the church. Widowhood, and divorces that involve adulteries, desertion of a spouse and serious cased of abuse occurs, we can’t always judge the persons situation without knowing the full story or being in their shoes even though I do get saddened when divorce happens that doesn’t involve these reasons simply because the couples or one spouse decides to give up because it’s too hard and not willing to make the commitment or people having sex so recklessly and irresponsibly out of wedlock sometimes barely knowing each other. Still, I think single parents shouldn’t be overlooked in the church and there should be more support for them regardless of how they got there since there is always repentance depending on the circumstances. Great article again. God Bless.