Last week’s post on the curse of the woman in Genesis 3 definitely struck a nerve. To sum it all up, God created the woman in His image, to reflect in particular His example as a helper. For more on how the woman’s creation to be a helper reflects God, see this post. Furthermore, God charged the woman to be fruitful – all while in perfect communion with Him. The curse on her after the fall reflects a perversion of each of these things. In perfection, she was to be fruitful. But after the fall, childbirth (and childrearing) is fraught with pain and suffering. In perfection, she was created to be a helper to her husband. After the fall, she becomes the needy one, clamoring for something from the man that only God was supposed to provide her. In perfection, Adam was created first, and we know from NT commentary on the order of creation that this reflected his call to leadership – hand in hand guidance and direction. But after the fall, instead of offering loving guidance, the man oppressively rules.
This is why feminism is attractive. Feminism is a learned coping mechanism for dealing with the curse. The formal definition of feminism is simply the movement for social, political, and economic equality between women and men. If you’ve bought into the Bill of Rights at any level, you can probably embrace that general idea. But feminists are perceived by non-feminists as seeking more than equality – they are perceived as seeking domination. I think really what is going on is neither the seeking of dominance or simple equality. What a feminist wants is INDEPENDENCE.
Independence – freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others. (http://www.dictionary.com/)
The strong feminist woman was at some point likely seriously wounded (abandoned, abused, used) by a man she trusted somewhere along the way. Feminism isn’t her living out the curse – feminism is her response to the curse. If you meet a woman who is strongly advocating her personal independence from men, I recommend that you don’t challenge her on her views or engage with her in debate (at least not if you actually care about her). I recommend asking her about her earlier experiences with men. Who hurt her? Who abandoned her? She’ll likely admit that her pursuit of financial, spiritual, and emotional independence is a result of some guy seriously hurting her (or hurting her mother). He hurt her and exposed to her a weakness in her that she hated. Feminism is her coping mechanism.
Why is feminism attractive? Because weakness is a problem. Paul affirms this in 2 Timothy 3:6. Weak women attract abusers. Scripture never calls women to weakness. And a feminist’s hatred of weakness in herself and others is not her problem. The problem is her answer to weakness. Independence from others and sole reliance on ourselves is not the answer to abandonment or oppressive rule by men.
As Christian women, do we have anything better than the coping mechanism of insulating ourselves from a need for men by cultivating self-reliance at every level? In Christ, we certainly do. It’s counter cultural and maybe doesn’t seem insulating at all. You could argue it actually makes you more vulnerable. But there is strength to be had in Christ that allows you to remain in a place of vulnerability—to remain open to those who have the power to hurt you because you have embraced your role in their lives. You stay vulnerable because God has called you to help them. You lay down self-protective manipulation and endure uncomfortable, faith testing situations because, simply put, you are called to be like Christ.
How do we do this? WHY do we do this? I’ll look to Ephesians to answer that (because I just finished studying it in depth and because it is kind of a reader’s digest condensed version of the longer answer woven throughout Scripture). In Ephesians 1-3, Paul peels back the multiple layers of all Christ has accomplished for us on the cross. The gospel is both simple and deep. You can sum it up simply (while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us). But there is also great benefit to unpacking the depth of the gospel –what Paul calls our spiritual blessings in Christ.
Ephesians 1 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8 that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
Paul goes on to tell of the Spirit in us now who is God’s deposit that assures us God will not default on His promises. We have the same power transforming us that raised Christ from the dead. And though we were dead in our sins and by our very nature deserving of God’s wrath, in Christ we are now God’s adopted children with the full rights of sons and daughters in His household. We are fully reconciled with God and can boldly enter His presence to find help for everything we need.
Paul is clear in Ephesians on the solution to the curse. In Christ, we are finally equipped to deal with the effects of the fall. We are equipped to apply the ultimate weapon against the depravity in others – gospel grace. And we are also equipped against the depravity within ourselves with the same. The Spirit within us works outwardly what He is doing inwardly. We can become holy because He is making us holy. We can work out our salvation with fear and trembling because God is working in us to give us the desire and ability to do His will.
Paul then begins Ephesians 5 with the exhortation to be imitators of God. Only in Christ is this now possible, but now not only is it possible, it is expected! When you are IN Christ, you’ll be LIKE Christ. In particular, all of us in Christ are called to love sacrificially like Christ (5:1). And all of us, male and female, are called to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (5:21). After setting up this foundation, then and only then can we hear the classic instructions to husbands and wives.
What does marriage look like between believers who are IN Christ and being conformed to the image of God? Though all of us are called to love, the husband is called to give a particular example of sacrificial love in marriage. And just as all of us are called to submit to one another, the wife is called to give a particular example of submission in her home. He stops either lording his authority over her or disengaging altogether. She stops being so needy OF him that she can’t be a help TO him.
The answer to the curse is not self-reliance. It’s God reliance. It’s not self-protection. It’s tucking ourselves under the wing of the Almighty. And it’s not staying engaged just to be run over. It’s standing strong in our identity in Christ and helping our husband using God’s example as our strong helper as our guide. The answer is to put on the image of God. It is enough that the servant be as her master. “Be like Christ” is the sum and substance to the answer of the curse for women.