7) “How can I have a meaningful relationship with women who have not been through this struggle?”
If women who have not struggled with this issue seem to respond to you callously, give them the benefit of the doubt (after all, Biblical love as described in I Cor. 13 requires no less). Most likely, they are simply ignorant of the emotional battles you are facing. Educate them honestly about your situation. Women who love Christ will appreciate your honesty and want to come alongside you in support during this time. It is essential that church members mutually share individuals’ burdens. This speaks to the heart of what it means to be members of the Body of Christ. Paul was honest about the hardships he suffered so that his brothers and sisters in Christ would be unified with him in both the sufferings and the comfort of Christ.
2 Corinthians 1 3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. 8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.
8) “I think God is punishing me.”
Absolutely not! Romans 8:1 teaches that there is NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus. Sure you sin and deserve judgement. But Jesus Christ fully paid this penalty on the cross. Now, God operates with us on a totally different playing field called grace. Instead of punishing you, God is disciplining you–which is an entirely different concept than punishment. The term discipline in Scripture means training in righteousness. So God is allowing circumstances in your life to teach you something beautiful about Himself that will conform you to His image.
Hebrews 12 1Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
12Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees,
God constantly works negative things in our lives for our good and His glory. The story of Job is the classic example of God bringing horrible circumstances in the life of a believer DESPITE his uprightness of character and obedience. According to Job 1, it is because of Job’s righteous character that he is picked for this burden. Satan accuses Job of obeying God only because God is good to Job. If God brings hardship to Job, Satan believes Job will reject God. So Job’s story is about proving God’s worthiness to Satan. In hardship or blessing, trial or glory, God is worthy of praise and adoration. Like Paul’s sufferings, God is working in your life to make known to heavenly powers that He is worthy of praise.
Ephesians 3 10His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, 11according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. 12In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. 13I ask you, therefore, not to be discouraged because of my sufferings for you, which are your glory.
Job 1 20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.” 22 In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.