I worry. My excuse is that I’m trying to be responsible. The two aren’t the same. One is good, a trait often praised in Scripture. The other is abject sin—sucking the life out of the one worrying and maiming those around them. In my life, the line between the two is illusive, the one easily bleeding into the other.
I wrote recently on God’s clear conviction in my heart on the issue of worry while on vacation. God showed me in stark terms what my worry cost me. He made it clear that His plan was for me to receive THIS DAY from Him and live within its boundaries—receiving THIS DAY’S good and THIS DAY’s bad. I got the message while on vacation with family. I heard Him, and I responded by His grace. On vacation. But it’s another matter entirely to put it in practice when I get back into the rhythm of my normal life. My home. My marriage. My boys. They need a responsible mother/wife who, like the virtuous wife of Proverbs 31, looks over the affairs of her household, has a plan, and executes it so that they are prepared for adversity. But, oh, I am humbled by how easily my good planning for my family becomes a sin with grievous consequences.
It’s very hard to be prepared for the day of adversity without fearing the day of adversity. And then Christ says something completely counter to my thinking – “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34) The word for worry is pretty general – it could mean simple concern or thought, or it can mean anxiety or worry. I so often feel that my duty today is the very opposite of this instruction—I feel obligated to think ahead, be concerned about the future, to PLAN. And while planning sounds like an innocent, reasonable thing for a godly woman to pursue, my plans are rarely emotion free. My plans come with emotions—anxiety, care, worry, concern. So I am starting to take Christ much more literally than I ever have before when it comes to this instruction. I am convicted to start limiting my plans to this day. I’ll plan lunch. I’ll plan afternoon activities. I’ll take thought and concern for tomorrow tomorrow. Today, I have thought and concern for this day alone.
The truth that you know as well as I do is that wives, moms, and women in general MUST plan ahead. Our society, our very existence, requires it of us. Enrollment in preschool and kindergarten for my children this fall took place last February. Their clothing and food require planning ahead. And finances for sure benefit from careful planning with an eye toward the future. And yet, when my careful planning morphs into anxiety and worry, I MUST value Christ’s commands in Matthew 6 over my perception of responsible behavior. Responsible planning must be sacrificed if it feeds sinful worry. I have to open my hands and LET GO of my planning and live THIS DAY. And maybe tomorrow, God will grant me the grace to plan in responsible ways without anxiety. But until He does, I must hate my sin enough and trust Him enough with my future to let go of the mental paths that lead to sinful worry.
I praise God that He has not left me as an orphan to figure this all out. Instead, He has given me very specific instructions that free me from feeling like my family’s wellbeing depends on me figuring it all out and planning well ahead.
Matthew 6
25 Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
As counter intuitive as it seems, it is to our great benefit to obey Christ and believe in the value of these instructions. Christ calls us to receive moment by moment His daily (hourly) grace to do His will. Because He has a plan for us over the next 6 hours. And anxiety over next week’s Costco run, next month’s school bill, or next year’s whatever will distract us from what He has for us right now. And He does have something for you RIGHT NOW. Receive today, and don’t worry about tomorrow. You are not being irresponsible by doing so. In truth, obeying Christ on this matter is the most responsible thing you can do.
