Here are the next set of common questions and concerns about infertility.
4) “There is no way I can be satisfied with this stage of life.”
Godly contentment is possible! At issue is the tension between actively pursuing the God-ordained act of raising children and resting contentedly in this waiting time. God is working good things in your life at this stage. This stage of infertility can be a sweet time of friendship and sharing in your marriage. It could be a time to minister to others in far away locations. Maybe God has called you to a time-consuming ministry in town you won’t be able to do later when you have children. Despite His waiting to fulfill your desire to have children, He has prepared works in advance for you that will contribute to a life of abundant joy—even at this stage.
Ephesians 2 10For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Proverbs 19 21 Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. 22 What a man desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar. 23 The fear of the LORD leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble.
Philippians 4 11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength. 14Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.
I Timothy 6 6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.
Psalm 90 14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
John 15 9″As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.
5) “How much time and money should I spend seeking fertility? How far is too far?”
Short of creating embryos that will be discarded, this decision is up to you, your spouse, and your conscience. There will be times for you to go forward with treatments and times for you to step away from the process. Only you can say at what point you stop trusting God and start trying to manipulate your way around His will. He is sovereign over this process, and He opens and closes the womb. Through His common grace, He has given doctors good knowledge on this subject. It’s always wise to be informed as long as that information doesn’t cause you to trust in man over God.
Psalm 20 7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
Romans 14 23But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
Psalm 40 4 Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.
6) “I am bitter and jealous towards others inside and outside the church.”
These emotions are common but never justified. We must deal with them simply as the sin they are. In Christ, we are no longer slaves to sin. We have the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit working in us to conform us to the image of Christ. We DON’T have to give in to these sins. Rebuke yourself when you see this attitude surface. Repent to Christ and force yourself over the hurdle to be kind and honest to those you resent.
Genesis 30 1 When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” 2 Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?”
Romans 13 13Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy.
Romans 6 18You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.